Friday, January 11, 2008
a death in the family
Earlier this week, TBnJ's Great-Grandma died from cancer. We broke the news to them this evening so that we could spend a bunch of time with them and they would be able to ask questions all weekend as need be. Since she lived out of state, we won't be going to her funeral.
The kids took the news fairly well. We showed them a diagram of the abdomen and explained where the cancer was and why it made her organs stop working and how that causes death. We also showed them the obituary from the paper. T wanted to know how the paper knew his name. I told him that Grandpa told them. We read all the names in the paper and talked about who they are or were; T and J knew all of them.
J asked if "they" sold Great-Grandma's house. We told her not yet but that they will. She said, "Aww, I liked that house." We told her that Grandpa would be sending us one of Great-Grandma's favorite pots, and every time we use it, we can remember her. T wanted to know if that meant Great-Grandma was a potter. We told him no, she was a cook. She used the pot for cooking, not planting. And then T announced he was hungry (as always).
While T traipsed off to the kitchen to eat more crackers right before dinner, J asked who Great-Grandma's mother was. I told her the name. J asked if she was still alive. I told her no, because if she had been alive, she would be around 110. Great-Grandma was 81 when she died. T then said, "Oh, I see now why she had to die. Most people only live to be 72." He pronounced that with great authority and certainty. He later added on that he'd read that in Highlights.
As expected, the questions have continued to trickle in. T just asked me if Great-Grandpa died before they were born. I told him no, he and J were 2 when Great-Grandpa died, but B had not been born yet (though I was pregnant with him).
J has asked me if this means that her paternal grandmother is their only grandma now. She also wanted to know if my cousin (mentioned in the obit) whom she likes a lot has gotten married yet. I told her no, that cousin is only 22 and is still in college so she hasn't gotten married. I told her we would definitely inform her if something like that happened!
All of this seems to have gone over B's head. He hasn't said much or asked any questions, but that's kind of what I expected.
The kids took the news fairly well. We showed them a diagram of the abdomen and explained where the cancer was and why it made her organs stop working and how that causes death. We also showed them the obituary from the paper. T wanted to know how the paper knew his name. I told him that Grandpa told them. We read all the names in the paper and talked about who they are or were; T and J knew all of them.
J asked if "they" sold Great-Grandma's house. We told her not yet but that they will. She said, "Aww, I liked that house." We told her that Grandpa would be sending us one of Great-Grandma's favorite pots, and every time we use it, we can remember her. T wanted to know if that meant Great-Grandma was a potter. We told him no, she was a cook. She used the pot for cooking, not planting. And then T announced he was hungry (as always).
While T traipsed off to the kitchen to eat more crackers right before dinner, J asked who Great-Grandma's mother was. I told her the name. J asked if she was still alive. I told her no, because if she had been alive, she would be around 110. Great-Grandma was 81 when she died. T then said, "Oh, I see now why she had to die. Most people only live to be 72." He pronounced that with great authority and certainty. He later added on that he'd read that in Highlights.
As expected, the questions have continued to trickle in. T just asked me if Great-Grandpa died before they were born. I told him no, he and J were 2 when Great-Grandpa died, but B had not been born yet (though I was pregnant with him).
J has asked me if this means that her paternal grandmother is their only grandma now. She also wanted to know if my cousin (mentioned in the obit) whom she likes a lot has gotten married yet. I told her no, that cousin is only 22 and is still in college so she hasn't gotten married. I told her we would definitely inform her if something like that happened!
All of this seems to have gone over B's head. He hasn't said much or asked any questions, but that's kind of what I expected.
Labels: kid sayings
# posted by Elizabeth @ 6:13 PM 
